As of 2016 there were 7.442 billion people in the world, 24.13 million in Australia, 4.691 million of these in Queensland and of that, there are 2.4 million are in Brisbane. As one of these 2.4 million people, I am very happily married, have a decent social life, work full-time in the Brisbane CBD (which I do love). I live in a set of 6 units, in a busy area and also take public transport to work. I go to the gym (also quite busy), try to run my social media / blogging accounts, message/call and FaceTime my friends and of course shop/clean/cook and immerse myself in books and tv where I can. So taking all of this into consideration and admitting that I am not living in Betoota, how can someone with such constant exposure to human contact and people feel so…alone?
For the last month I have gradually (and then very rapidly) felt my mind disconnecting itself from my body. I feel as though I have been observing myself, rather than living my day to day practices. Gym + work + routine +sleep – repeat. I get it, this is life, it is how every other functioning adult segways from Monday to Tuesday to Wednesday and so on. I have worked full-time since I left high school, without a break. My reward for working hard has always been travel every 1-2 years, normally for 4-5 weeks, sometimes for less and just once for more.
Our next big trip (the trip of a lifetime if you will) is in September this year, we have been talking about, planning and dreaming about this trip for five years. It is coming up on us fast. yet six months is still you know, SIX months away. I think the constant routine, saving money and the same day in, day out repeat has finally weighed on me. What a bizarre situation to find yourself in – no real acute event or clear source to pin where things changed, where you lost your spark. It has happened though. On a humorous note, I commenced a 12 week no-drinking challenge as of New Years Eve and it has been brought to my attention that my attitude is 100% worse than what it was when I was drinking. So pro-tip, quitting drinking does not make you feel better, it has in fact, made me feel bloody dreadful.
So seeing it is only March and I feel like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards, I clearly need to do something about this. This is not a normal or appropriate amount (or lack thereof) energy to have at 31 (I will not say 32 until my birthday looks me in the face). I normally save my annual leave days the way a butcherbird stockpiles snacks, but given the state of mind and intense feeling of fatigue (and an unwelcome reoccurrence of high cortisol and hypertension), it is time to take a few days off and re-set the clock.
I have come down to one of my favourite places on earth, my mum’s house. I am armed with x2 books – which I plan to read.I have my togs for swimming. Will try to get some swimming in, will have a crack at meditation and will also try to take some photos. I actually have zero clue on how to relax. Can you be rejuvenated after only a week? What are your tips?
I would love to hear them!
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